How many times have you been drunk? (or at least aware of it). By definition, drunkenness is the state of being intoxicated by consumption of ethyl alcohol to a degree that mental and physical facilities are noticeably impaired. In short, it affects your physical and mental abilities
Here are 5 stages of drunkenness you should know, and probably have gone through without knowing it.
Stage 1 – SMART This is when you suddenly become an expert on every subject in the known Universe. You know you know everything and want to pass on your knowledge to anyone who will listen. At this stage you are always Right and of course the person you are talking to is very wrong. This makes for an interesting argument when both parties are Smart.
Stage 2 – GOOD LOOKING This is when you realize that you are the Best Looking person in the entire bar and that people fancy you. You can go up to a perfect stranger knowing they fancy you and really want to talk to you. Bear in mind that you are still Smart, so you can talk to any person about any subject under the sun.
Stage 3 – RICH This is when you suddenly become the Richest person in the world. You can buy drinks for your friends or even the entire bar because you have an armored truck full of money parked behind the bar. You can also make bets at this stage, because of course, you are still Smart, so naturally you will win all your bets. It doesn’t matter how much you bet ‘cos you are Rich. You will also buy drinks for everyone that you fancy, because now you are the Best Looking person in the world.
Stage 4 – BULLET PROOF Considering you are the smartest, best looking and richest person in the bar. You are now ready to argue and pick fights with anyone. This is because no one and nothing can hurt you. At this point you can also go up to the partners of the people who you fancy and challenge to a battle of wits or money. You have no fear of losing this battle because you are Smart, you are Rich and hell, you’re Better Looking than they are anyway!
Stage 5 – INVISIBLE This is the Final Stage. At this point you can do anything because No One Can See You. You dance on a table to impress the people who you fancy because the rest of the people in the room cannot see you. You are also invisible to the person who wants to fight you. You can walk through the street singing at the top of your lungs because no one can see or hear you and because you’re still Smart and you know all the words.
So, which stage have you reached so far? Scientifically backed or not, these stages are definitely accurate (agree?). So the next time you plan (or Not!) to get drunk with friends, try determining which stage you are (it’ll be fun!).
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